Exploring Music Therapy with Kelsi Tafaro
“Talk therapy allows a person to speak about their topics, but it may be too difficult to discuss. So, music kind of allows for a creative approach and a non-intimidating approach.” Kelsi Tafaro, a board-certified music therapist, neurologic music therapist, special educator and executive director of NeuroSound Music Therapy, LLC., joins Jenn on this episode of We Are Everyone to discuss the therapeutic benefits of music.
She shares how she was inspired to open her own practice, the scientific support behind music’s ability to alter our moods and how it helps us handle conflict and self-awareness. She also answers questions about the lessons that business leaders can take from music therapy as well as how it has impacted her own mental fitness path personally and as an entrepreneur. Plus, Kelsi and Jenn reveal the songs they listen to for an extra mental boost!
Guest’s Social Media:
Kelsi Tafaro LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelsi-tafaro-585409102
NeuroSound Music Therapy, LLC.: https://www.neurosoundmusictherapy.com/meet-our-team
NeuroSound Music Therapy, LLC. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NeuroSoundMT/
NeuroSound Music Therapy, LLC. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neurosoundmusictherapy/?igshid=10ou0ccyea182
:00 Introductions
:47 Kelsi shares her background and life history that lead her to music therapy
2:32 Kelsi’s earliest connections to music and how a great teacher lead her to begin her musical healing journey
5:56 The purpose, science and process of music therapy as explained by Kelsi Tafaro
9:45 Kelsi reveals that using client – preferred music is part of her music therapy method and explains how songwriting, active listening and instrument-playing factor into her approach
13:05 Kelsi tells us what she feels about the term “mental fitness”
15:45 Using music therapy strategy, Kelsi explains how she strengthens the mental fitness of others, and gives the case of a child with attention issues
19:19 Jenn poses the question, “What lesson can you learn about yourself through music and art therapy?
20:45 How can the lessons we learn in therapy be applied to the workplace? Kelsi says that businesses are increasingly caring about the mental wellness of their employees
25:45 Kelsi reveals how she flexes her own mental fitness by setting boundaries and learning how to say “no”, while being a mother, wife and business owner
28:22 Jenn and Kelsi discuss her favorite songs for a quick mental boost
29:23 Kelsi leaves us with parting words and offers her services to the public
WIN: Championship Traits For Life - Susan Norton
They say that you need mind, body, and spirit to move forward in life. But what happens when your body fails you? Can Mind and soul still pave the way? Our guest today, Susan Norton, will prove to you that they can while also providing one of the greatest examples of human perseverance we have ever seen.
WIN: Championship Traits For Life - Riley Cote
We talk about the determination, mental fitness and GRIT needed to make it not just in pro sports but in life a lot on this show. Our guest today, Riley Cote, is a shining example of someone who did it in both arenas.
Riley was an undrafted player who walked-on to an NHL tryout which resulted in him taking the full road from the CHL to ECHL to AHL and eventually the NHL with the Philadelphia Flyers where he became a hometown favorite almost immediately. For those of you who don’t follow hockey – what Riley accomplished is extremely rare and we dive into what makes him tick as an athlete and as a person on this week’s episode of WIN.
-Riley shares what drove him to reach the levels he did in hockey: 1:19
-Riley discusses what traits he brought that helped his success: 4:47
-Riley talks about the people who made an impact during his career to help lead to success: 9:41
-Riley shares about his experiences coaching in the AHL and how he helped develop players: 15:38
-Riley shares his current work in mental wellness: 18:23
-Riley discusses and shares his passion for the future for use of hemp and cannabis as medicine in sport: 27:24
-Riley shares advice for young players and coaches as they journey to the next level: 37:30
-Riley talks about detaching from the outcome & present moment awareness: 39:48
A Mental Fitness Journey Through Music with Cecily - Part 2
“It’s not the external gaze that’s defining for you what fulfillment feels like in your life at this moment, it’s all you.” In part two of our conversation with Cecily – a vocalist, writer and healer – she continues to discuss how being a musician challenges and shapes her mental fitness journey. She also dives into reframing our mindset when it comes to social media, how she has built an online community around meditation, the evolution of the meaning behind success and gifting yourself with radical acceptance.
:00 Cecily explains how being a musician challenges and shapes her mental fitness journey
3:18 The theory of impermanence provides a healthier framework for connecting with social media
5:59 Cecily outlines how a new journey into guided meditations has developed successfully online
8:00 Jenn speaks on being yourself and focusing on posting what you actually want
9:35 A hustle mindset can sometimes rob you of balance
14:25 Your definition of success should evolve with your age and mindset
16:15 Aligning with your own personal sense of spirituality and wellness contributes to a balanced, honest life
22:48 Cecily discusses how affirmations help her to flex her mental fitness
23:18 Reframing your mind can get you through tough situations
25:10 Radical acceptance
28:00 Parting words from Cecily
Books Mentioned
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book – Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec/dp/1878424424
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) – Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
How to Love (Mindfulness Essentials) – Thich Nhat Hanh
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Mindfulness-Essentials-Thich-Nhat/dp/1937006883
All About Love: New Visions – Bell Hooks
https://www.amazon.com/All-About-Love-New-Visions/dp/0060959479
Quotes Mentioned
“As a normal human being just going through their life, you can be like ‘yeah I’m gonna delete social media apps for a while’, but as an artist you feel guilty.”
“Take away that option of ‘I’m doing this because it looks interesting’… that’s a new type of freedom”
“It’s important to have a practice of knowing that this [social media] is not permanent, for one, it helps you appreciate the moment. ”
“It’s really helpful as an artist knowing that whether I have a new project to post or not, I’m still an important, valuable human being.”
“Focus on your intentions, not expectations.”
“Growth is a pendulum.”
“You have a following. It doesn’t need to be millions.”
“Focus on your core fan base and figure out what you’re offering.”
“You can’t throw balance out the window, when you feed other parts of yourself then you become a fuller human being.”
“Giving your all is not cute anymore. Balance is cute.”
“Your voice can be used in a lot of different ways, it doesn’t just have to be used for music.”
“As you get older, don’t be afraid to redefine what success means to you.”
“It’s not the external gaze that’s defining for you what fulfillment feels like in your life at this moment, it’s all you.”
“Everything has to feel in alignment now, or I just almost can’t do it… I just have to be purposeful in anything.”
“Bigger paychecks, less work.”
“You don’t need to do this much.”
“It’s so important to know how to say no.”
“It’s all about value alignment.”
“I am mighty and unrestricted.”
“It’s interesting how you can reframe a situation that’s kind of sucky at that moment in time.”
“Radical acceptance of the moment.”
“Take a moment today to tell yourself that you’re enough.”
“You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. All will be well.”
A Mental Fitness Journey Through Music with Cecily - Part 1
“How do I use my voice to enable others to find healing in some way?” Cecily, a musician, writer and healer, joins We Are Everyone for a special two-part discussion on the power of discovering your voice and silencing that inner critic. In this episode, she shares her journey as a vocalist and songwriter including how shifting her focus to music allowed her to explore new ways to bring people together and the themes that she portrays through her work.
Guest Social Media Links
Website – http://cecilymusic.com/
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/cecilyalexa/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/CecilyAlexa
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/CecilyMusic
YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/user/CecilyMusic
2:33 Cecily tells us about herself and her mission
5:45 Words on patience
7:00 Cecily gives us her definition of mental fitness
10:00 Cecily shares her art inspirations and her journey from political science to healing music
13:16 How Cecily’s conceptualization of love and her latest album were framed by studying three of the most popular books ever created on love
17:30 Cecily tells us how learning the themes of healthy love carried over into her music and her overall life purpose
19:20 Jenn reminds us of love and all its forms, and how that plays into mental wellness
21:59 Cecily tells us how the the dynamics of being an artist online and in the world affect and contribute to a self love journey
Music Mentioned
Songs of Love and Freedom – http://cecilymusic.com/music/songs-of-love-and-freedom/
Awakening PT. 1 – http://cecilymusic.com/music/awakening-pt-1/
Books Mentioned
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book – Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec/dp/1878424424
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) – Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
How to Love (Mindfulness Essentials) – Thich Nhat Hanh
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Mindfulness-Essentials-Thich-Nhat/dp/1937006883
All About Love: New Visions – Bell Hooks
https://www.amazon.com/All-About-Love-New-Visions/dp/0060959479
Quotes Mentioned
“How do I use my voice to enable others to find healing in some sort of way?”
“Really looking at the reasons why you’re on this earth, and being able to find your voice [that early] is really beautiful.”
“Mental fitness is a continuum.”
“Mental fitness is retraining yourself out of your continuous mental critic”.
“How can I replace this negative self critic with someone who is more compassionate, more kind, more patient, more reassuring..”
“I always wanted to be the kind of person to bring people together and to build people up.”
“You have to choose love in every moment”.
“You learn that any type of vitriol has to be an automatic response. No, that’s something completely within my control”.
“All human beings learn a lot about what love is supposed to be through the media. As a black woman who makes soul music, it’s my job to carry all these themes that are changing my life, through music.”
“Media is BS a lot of the time, but music is coming from the soul.”
Understanding What’s Happening on the Other Side of the Keyboard
“During the pandemic, you kind of had to face your mind.” COVID-19 was certainly a strain on all of us in one way or another and forced us to reckon with the importance of mental health. This re-evaluation was particularly prevalent in the transitioning workplace. Rayne Steinberg, Co-Founder and CEO of digital asset investment firm Arca, joins Jenn to talk about his own mental fitness journey as well as his team’s approach to fostering a company culture that emphasizes clear communication, ownership and an open awareness of the evolving ways to support employee wellness.
:49 Rayne shares a little bit of background about himself and his business and family
1:50 Rayne’s definition of “mental fitness” in relation to ARCA
3:44 Rayne discusses that being part of a well-known family sometimes affected his mental wellness
7:26 Rayne explains how he implements mental fitness as a leader, how mass media and popular sentiment skew the realities of leadership, and how a public family controversy helped him to deal with internal struggles
12:57 Rayne discusses that his team has strategized and evolved with the society and the shift to promoting mental health in the workplace
15:07 Rayne outlines his company’s culture, where people feel like owners
17:55 Jenn and Rayne stress the importance of and value of clear communication at the workplace
20:24 At Arca, Slack and email are limited to informal messages, fostering clearer conversations
22:57 Rayne gives his view of the future of mental fitness/mental wellness in the workplace and details the successful company culture at ARCA
26:23 Rayne shares how taking distance from work to let the mind regenerate benefits his company
31:20 Rayne shares encouraging words for the masses, “its okay”
Books Mentioned:
Marc Randolph – That Will Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07QLL7N7D/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i0
The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005BSQWVM/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i1
Quotes Mentioned:
“Mental wellness is really a very pliable, healthy mind, that helps you deal with a very changeable world. A well balanced healthy mind is able to cope with adversity.”
“Flexibility and optionality are super important in this world and you can’t do that without a healthy mind”.
“During the pandemic, you kind of had to face your mind”.
“Everyone is having their own human experience”
“..In an increasingly optic-driven society, where we have a lot of exposure to success stories. We only get to hear the books of those who made it, so there’s a real survivorship bias on these things. People don’t realize how much good fortune and luck goes into these things. ”
“With the way I was raised in this very public way, one of the most helpful things is that we had a disintegration of that, very publicly as well, and that was no longer a pressure that was on you… I was forced to face what was going on internally and have people see very bad things going on, and it wasn’t fatal.”
“Be comfortable with things that weren’t as great, but not letting them be paralyzing.”
“Skills and aptitude’s are different, not necessarily better than the other”
“It hard to understand how much human interaction goes on in the workplace…. It’s hard to quantify, but you feel it in its absence.”
“The less context you have in interactions, the more you’re able to fill in on your own”
“You have to understand what’s going on, on the other side of that keyboard”
“Communication is a two way street. Whatever you say doesn’t matter, you’re looking to communicate something on the receiving end.”
“This virtual world has made the labor pool fluid and almost infinite…. But there’s also an incredibly broad pool for the applicant…”
“Find something that works for you, that you see the good results in, and be honest with it.”
